This post is long overdue. It has been about three weeks since I’ve posted anything on my blog. The last Monday I was supposed to post was the Monday the bomb went off at the Boston Marathon. I couldn’t write anything then. No words. Just a lot of feelings. I felt the need to unplug. That day was yet another reminder of how fleeting and short life is. It was also a reminder of how necessary it is for us to hold who and what’s important to us, a little closer. A little longer.

The week that followed I was in the magical and deeply intellectually stimulating place that is my low residency program. Every six months or so, I go away to Vermont to spend yet another eight days crafting my study plan and continue the journey of completing and receiving my degree. The program works out perfectly for my family and me because I am a full time mama. I simply don’t have the time to be in a classroom for 6-8 hours a week.

Now  I am back home. Back into the swing of things and in addition to school work now added to the mix, I on a journey to experience more wellness and vibrancy than I ever have before in my body and mind. While I was away in addition to my meditation practice I added asana to my practice. As of today, I am on day 6 of a 21-day elimination and anti-inflammation diet (more on that later) and I feel very clear and very light in body and it hasn’t been a week yet. I am a little tired, but that’s to be expected when you cut the crap out of your diet (detox). But I remain committed. The first three days are the hardest, but I feel my meditation practice has deeply supported my inner resolved to commit to habits that bring more vibrancy into my life.

Upcoming Event

I have more exciting news. I am hosting my first (of many) MamaCreate workshops. At the workshops, I will introduce three practices that I use to help me be more present and calm when my children are not

Please check out the flyer and if you’re in the area, come on through.

MamaCreate Grove Hall Workshop Flyer

Yesterday, I spent a large part of my day with a good friend at a park, while the children played, ran and chased dogs.  The original plan was for us to meet for our sangha gathering, since some of our group members were unavailable to meet.  The sudden shift in weather and one fiery two-year-old prevented us from practicing sitting meditation, so we sat and talked about our spiritual paths and practices instead.

One of the themes that was constant in our conversation was how the past informs the present and how to transform thew way our painful pasts have shaped who we are. More often than not, our painful pasts have created a  deeply protective self. I know for me personally, I am often on guard. My deep recommitment to my spiritual practice is beginning to soften the armor I wear in the world and the surprising truth is that I feel more brave without my armor now than I do with it.  I am beginning to know a truer, deeper sense of safety within myself that doesn’t require keeping my defenses up. This is daily work, moment to moment work.

Recently, I have been going  into the hard, dark and scary spaces of my pass. After many years, I finally feel strong and supported enough to give them air and most of all, give them the attention they’ve been crying out for, for so long. So,  now that I have gone there, felt the pain, allowed myself to process the past, How do I transform who I am into who I want to be? How do I go from being a very protective self to a more open and truly fearless being?

When I have big questions, one of the places I go for answers is books. Lots of them. I am a voracious reader.  I read a lot of books on personal transformation, meditation, you name it within the self-help genre, I’ve probably read it. But what I’ve learned recently, is something many of those books leave out, is that change doesn’t just happen in the mind. Changing your mind is a HUGE part of changing your life, but it doesn’t end there. If I want to become a better listener, I can read about it, talk about it, and even imagine myself doing it. But until I actually practice sitting with others and deeply listening to them, I am missing the mark. I am living inside my head.

I am learning, through my own experiences, my own mistakes, my own practice and inner dialogue that change has to be embodied. We have to move into it,  literally. In addition to thinking and envisioning ourselves differently we have to act and “be” different. And being different requires small consistent steps. Each minute I sit. Each minute I stop to really listen to my son or just walk with my daughter without doing anything else, I change. Every time I get present, I change. Every time I let myself feel everything I am feeling fully and deeply, both good and bad, I slowly step more into the mother, the woman I want to be. One who is OK with being in the present moment. One who is OK with right here and right now, regardless of how hard it is. And it gets hard sometimes.  I am learning that this is the key to living a vibrant life–striving  to find a little bit of joy in every moment, a little beam of sun in a cloudy sky.

What small steps will you make towards your change today?

Last week I recorded videos for “The Vibrant Mama 10-Day Jump Into Juiciness” almost every day. The beginning of the journey started out strong. I had the videos in the inbox of my participants before noon. By day 4,  the emails were sent out later. By the end of the 10 days, the times varied. What was most important was that I got the videos completed and sent. Another thing I learned, and was pointed out to me by a good friend, is that I shared the realness of living my life, as well as  walking a path of living vibrantly regardless of what’s happening in my life.  Being juicy, happy and vibrant can be something we do even when things are not going the way we want them  to.

My husband has been suffering with severe back pain, which made it hard for him to do anything. That was hard for both he and I, since we work so much as a team(I sometimes forget how much until one of us is down-physically or emotionally). In addition to his injury, one day last week, I woke up with a VERY stiff and pain-filled shoulder and neck. I couldn’t turn my head! You think I let that stop me from posting my videos? No, I did not. That’s all a part of this journey. Being able to do something, anything that is in alignment with your vision, passion or purpose each day is what’s vital. Even if you’re just sitting thinking about it and haven’t made a “move” yet. It all feeding you.

I would be dishonest if I were to imply that I don’t have bad days and that you will not have bad days. I think it dis-serves my own growth and the confidence of others to promote a belief that everything will always go the way we want. It won’t. I strive to demonstrate and share tools that are a reflection of the belief that we can tap into a larger, more beautiful, creative and amazing space within us.  A space that will give us the energy to move forward, to create lives that are reflection of our highest ideals, even on days when our kids and partners and we are sick.

Living juicy, vibrant and wonderful lives is not about something outside of us. We truly are like succulents. Our juice comes from within. Sure, there are MANY tools out there to help us reconnect and I hope this site and the experiences and insights I share is one of those tools for you. But the real magic is inside you.

What are some of the ways you stay juicy, vibrant and joy-filled in the midst of a storm?

In the spirit of “planting seeds,” I have created “The Vibrant Mama 10-Day Jump Into Juiciness.” It is an opportunity to plant new seeds and to water the positive seeds that have been planted within us at different moments in our lives. Moments that we may feel far from us when we are submerged in the day to day of parenting and just living.

Beginning tomorrow,  ”The Vibrant Mama 10-Day Jump Into Juiciness” is a daily opportunity for you to reconnect with that joyful, playful, adoring and loving part of who you are. Interested? Join me by clicking here!

For a little over two weeks now, I have been waking up around 5 AM to meditate. In my last post, I talked about my recommitment to my spiritual practice and my former resistance to sitting meditation. I can honestly and happily say that meditation has become medicine for me. I gladly show up to my practice daily. I sit with the contents of my mind and my body. And with that, I gain a deeper understanding of myself and of others. I also know that if there is no other time in my day that is for me, I have given myself that and I feel good. I feel better about my life, as it is. My outlook on things have been a LOT more positive. I have a tool to “take care” of my anger and I am much more present for my family and friends. It is how I start my day strong!

When I originally wrote this chapter in my book, I was not meditating regularly. I had my morning practices that were beneficial, but I find that meditation (and mindfulness) has added more to those practices; has allowed me to draw deeper benefits from them.

One other thing I’ve learned through my own practice is that starting your day strong begins the night before. If you don’t allow yourself enough rest the night before, you will not have the energy you need to show up to your morning practice and create a day that will bring you the most joy. It is hard to start the day strong if you’re wiped out.

If started your day strong or on a high note is important to you, ask yourself:

How do I want to think, feel and be today?

How do I want to show up for my children and family?

How do I want to deal with challenges that may arise?

Once you answer those questions, you will be able to get clear on what you need in order to make that happen.

I hope you are having a strong start to your week.

Recently, I recommitted to my spiritual practice. One thing that has been central to my practice over the past few years has been meditation. I used to be resistant to sitting. I would tell myself and others (especially my husband) that “sitting isn’t my thing.” But this time, when I began to sit, I was able to see the gift that “simply sitting” gave me.

One of those gifts was my ability to change the way I looked at things–my life, people I love and people who it’s hard to extend love to. Showing up to my  practice when I don’t want to, when I’m tired or annoyed has given me the opportunity to face what comes up for me–the sadness, the pain and the joy and somehow, over time I have a different perspective on my experiences.  In many ways I’m being slightly simplistic in my language, because what I have been discovering about myself has been enough to write a book about–seriously.

But I can say in all honesty, when we change how we look at the world, what we look at changes. If that sounds to too esoteric, try it and see what happens.

Wishing you all a beautiful and joy-filled week!

Here are some Vibrant Links for your weekend. For all my New England friends, grab a nice cup of tea and enjoy the snow!

• I saw this and thought it was a lovely idea!
• I simply just love this mama’s video series!
• This video should go VIRAL! Help to make it happen. Watch it now and pass it on!
• Community and Yoga–What a beautiful marriage!
• For those of us with little, little ones, THIS would make mornings so much easier.
• A few yummies here, here and here!

Have a wonderful weekend!